*guiLt siNks iN*

smoking (yes.. but only sometimes) and drinking (yes..i'm 19 and its legal) were two things that i do in life that i wasn't much proud of..


..as my cousin Jasmin (who is currently residing and working in switzerland) would say, "you dont need cigarettes, alcohol and drugs to be happy and to enjoy life". sure thing that wasn't essential but those are instruments *or something like that* that increases the fun while with friends. You talk and you make good conversations and stuffs.

..I promised my cousin i wouldn't smoke or drink again after the *GALERA* incident. But i broke my promise to her (then makes me remember what she has also said.. "what you dont know won't hurt you.") so as long as she wouldn't know what i was doing here while she was away she wont scold at me or be mad or throw away rants and lecture me.

..But everyday as we talk/chat i feel guilty. 'cause i broke a promise. and i lied to her. and im sorry.

..I'll try to change my ways and be a better me. Or should i say return to the old me whose life revolves around the *cyberspace, dvd movies, books and academics*.

*whehw*


will i get that life back?


ngayon pa that my life is something that revolves in like *friends, gala, drinks, and the least was the acads*.

impossibly insensitive..

i just don't get why some people tends to be so insensitive..

im sure there's no one who's born with that capability, but hey! i mean. how could they choose to be like one. they hurt people unconsciously and "do not" care about the people who cared about them most..




haiiiizzt..




one big *siGh*