answered prayers and broken promises..

i may be too emotional but not that confrontational, i would always end up beaten and crying..

last weekend i had a fight with my bestest friend ever..
*i guess she hates me now*

she is bugged with my presence and everything that involves "me" pisses her off..
she thinks im "doomed-to-be-her-friend" but that's not true..
i never regret anything i've done for her..
all the efforts i have exerted was done not because i have to..

i know she have flaws *lots of it* and i've accepted that..
its just that i cant even think abot how much she doesnt get my point and always insist on things as if she was the victim here..


she is *WTH* my bestest best friend ever..

ive done a lot of firsts with her..
alcoholic drinks..
skip class..
sleep overs..
galera days..
malling..
strolling..
boy hunting.. *luv that part*

she witnessed my first forbidden love..
i saw her fight with her tropa..
i witnessed her worst heartbreak..

we've shared numerous laughters..

..and tears.

Unmeasurable moments spent together..
Unforgettable experiences..


I prayed for a friend like her, God granted my prayers about a year and nine months ago when he made us classmates *and seatmates*..

i couldnt let go kasi I know she needs me..
*well atleast about 6months ago.. when we're still okay then..*


now...
she has her own life, own sets of friends, own activities done..

she's on her own now..


maybe she's right..
siguro i became too dependent on her..


and being dependent on her was something she doesnt want me to do.
she wants her OWN life..
she wants me to have mine..



im trying to.
im really trying my best to.




i havent spoken to her for 2days now..
i havent seen her also..


it is hard.
and im sure it'll get harder for the next coming days.

specially i'll be seeing her daily..

i cant pretend she doesnt exist.

haiist. how hard nhu?



sad kasi we'll not be able to spend our last few days in college together..
that she'd rather be with her oh-so-good and fun-to-be-with new found friends than with us na mga tried-and-tested-through-time friends nya na..

it is okay.
i am okay.
we're all okay.


i'll be missing her laughters, her kwento, her hampas, her hair *that is short now*, her smile, her accent, her sneezes, everything.. *as in lahat*

i'll be having a hard time adjusting siguro.
im not redi to see her yet nga.


daig pa niya mama ko.
daig pa niya ang taong mahal ko. *may gf ksi un* (aii.. siningit tlga.. ill be posting about that maybe next time..)

although we both promised forever to each other..
and as i would remember her saying "i know im hard to be understood but please do not give on me"

as much as i would want to hold on..

i cant anymore..
wla nko hahawakan..
nauna na sha bumitaw e..




pero ill not lose hope. *matigas ulo ko eh*


as serena and blair fought like devils in gossip girls.

i know right on just before grad, we'll have white flags waving,..